Who's Dot Pulleteen?

Henry Lawson, 1890

      To the Editor of The Albany Observer

      Dear Sir,
      Smarting from the effects of a neat back-hander administered to it by the Sydney Bulletin, the W.A. Bulletin prints the following: "Says the S. Bulletin — 'The talented Henry Lawson has left Sydney for Western Australia.' Who's Henry Lawson?" The W.A. Bulletin might reasonably ask this question, but it is not right that an unknown writer should be used as a weapon of spite by one paper against another, and this mysterious individual in question, who might be a German, could easily relieve his injured feelings as follows:


      O my prow vas plack mit curses,
      Ven I dries to write dose verses;
      Ven I dries to write dot boem,
      Dot de best was effer been.
      All in vain my peer I guzzles,
      But I gannod solve dot broblem,
      "Who's dot Western Pulleteen?"

      Und I swear mit pleets and dvonder,
      Und I ferry often wonder,
      Would dot paber's cirgulation
      Shusta little pigger been,
      If dey toog deir seissor-pinchers,
      Shust to cut some leetle inches
      From that smarty-smarty writer
      Of dot Western Pulleeteen.

      "Let dose mountains fall and hide us"
      Gry benighded odersiders,
      Shame come round and woe betide us,
      Und our fellow men deride us
      If we effer yet can find oud
      "Who's dot Western Pull-it-in?"

      HENRICH HERTZBERG LAWSON

      I remain, Yours etc.,
      JOE SWALLOW